The Saint of All Things Lost

 

I light a candle

at the feet of St. Anthony for you

The patron saint of all things lost

thinking of you,

the boy from St. Anthony's.

I should have known.

Going back home has turned into

this whole mixture of emotions

because of you.

You hugged me tight and long

and left

looking back at me standing there

over and over

till we were no longer in sight

of each other.

It was my farewell

but you were the one that left.

The warmth of the fondness,

that sat on the luxurious couch

in the living room of my mind palace,

at the center of my heart

has left, like you.

The pain, the fear, the grief

the emptiness, the weight, the silence

have taken its place

instead.

How wonderful would it be

to have you now...

We would have drifted apart even

if you lived.

But now that you are gone,

you are more alive

roaming in the maze of my mind.

Lucky you...

-Nush-

All things Good are Bitter

Nothing else is left

from all that's sown and reaped

but a Bitter Goard from a bitter God

to survive the whole winter.

They say it's good for you

that it's nourishment, a healer.

Nothing else is left

from all that's sown and reaped

but the pain and the punishment,

quite enough, quite close

to knocking my guard down.

But they say it is good for you.

That it is medicine. 

that the darkness is the womb

and silence, part of the treatment.

So, be patient, my patient. 

In this dark womb of silence

grow patience.

The weight of the soil that buries you

is the weight of the soul that carries you

up, and up, to crack the crust

and out into that long-lost light.

-Uththara-

Animals

I can feel all the animals in me

pacing, gracing, piercing, 

across the vast plains of my Psyche;

pecking, picking, perching

or flying across the endless skies;

resting, sleeping, hibernating

until the month of May

or waiting patiently for a prey;

yearning in heat for a lover's call

the thirst, the hunger

and the satiation of it all,

I can feel them all.

-Uththara-

Stuck

"Time is the healer. Time will tell.

It's up to you to live in heaven or hell

This too shall pass and you have a choice

Live life fully, let the world hear your voice."

Was written in front of a marble statue

of a woman, stored in a garage 

of a mountain home

in a forest.

-Uththara-

A Thinking of You card to self

 

I know it's tough

to be peaceful sometimes.

It's hard to be neat and tidy

When you're right in the middle

of this changing season.

It's alright to have your mind racing

in every direction at the same time.

Feel all that, feel, and let go.

They are the droplets of the ones

that poured in Sidhartha's mind.

He, a human, felt all of that and let go.

Look beyond this valley, my valley

Let that beauty put a smile on your lips,

so you'll enjoy this part of the journey too.

Maybe the treasure is where you started all this,

but you won't know it unless you make this pilgrimage.

-Uththara-

A Full moon Lesson

 Life moves slowly these days

as if there's roadwork ahead.

I saw a couple of signs, of course,

but I get impatient in my head.

It drips into my heart space

and then pours over the temple roof

as I sit on the warm floor

to patiently learn this game.

"Observe," She says, "the restlessness,

the clutter and the utter congestion;

Observe, my child, how all that moves

and slowly conquer your mind.

What you'll see will save your heart

and open your tight-shut eyes.

You'll know that happiness is a choice

and That. Will. Set. You. Free."

 

A Question for a Friend

We know why the Sun shines so bright

but the universe is a mystery

we strive to count the stars at night

Some have come close, they preach

but the stars, they live and die.

We know the Earth, inside out,

we look like a pretty smart crowd;

We know precisely how long, how wide,

how deep, how broad a thing is

but the soul, it flies up high.

We know so well about anatomy

it's gotten deep under our skin.

We live as if we are never gonna die

and die a half-lived life:

but the question, my friend, is Why?